Financial Lingo Defined

As Kirbo occasionally casts dispersions upon Casey and my choosen profession, the following primer may be helpful to those unfamiliar with the lingo in the markets

Profit Taking: All purpose explanation for why the market went down.

Technical Factors: Alternate all purpose explanation for why the market went down.

Resistance level: Under no circumstances should stocks rise above this level, unless, of course, they do.

Support level: Under no circumstances should stocks fall below this level, unless, of course, they do.

Correction: What brokers call a major market crash before they've had a chance to sell off their personal positions.

Momentum investor: buyer of stuff that has already gone up.

Value investor: buyer of stuff that will never go up.

Broker: What you'll be if you follow their advice.

Financial Consultant: Broker trying to sound respectable.

Financial journalists: Wanted to be sportswriters, but didn't make the cut.

Collectibles: Justification for buying worthless stuff you really, really want.

Hedge funds: Like mutual funds, but, much higher fees and bragging rights.

Variable annuities: Chance for ordinary investors to pay hedge-fund like fees.

Commodities: Pigs with lipstick.

Car lease: Chance to act rich while you're getting poorer every month.

Credit cards: Another chance.