Hole of the Week #14 - Pines Woods #7

"A drive down the middle is best..."? No shit. I guess I should quit trying to slice it into the forest. I need a new plan off the teebox.

"Requires precise pin play"? Don't just punch a 7-iron at the green?

The "Valley of the 3-Putt"? I live in that valley.

Who the hell writes these? Let me try it.

If you slice it off the box on this hole... you're fucked. If you hook it off the teebox on this hole...you're fucked. If you can't hit it to the side of the green where the pin sits...you're fucked. If you can't putt as well as a touring PGA golfer...you're fucked. Enjoy the "Valley of the 3-Putt"!

What Else Need I Say?

I shot a goose this morning but it doesn't even come close to sitting on the side of the hill with my nephew this afternoon for an hour an a half. I can't think of one single place I'd rather have been.

There are thousands of geese here and passing through right now. It is worth the price of admissison. I am a lucky man.

The goose thing didn't suck though! I love hunting but goose hunting is the best. Thank you God.


(Sarah was my photographer!!!)

Hole of the Week #13 - Deacon's #2

I can't help but overswing on this hole. If I swing too hard, it will slice and roll off the hill and be on the right side of the fairway - won't it. Obviously not. I have left my share of golf balls in the woods on the right.

It's also a great place to lose Kirby as he wanders off into the woods to fill his bag with balls. He comes back out when we're teeing off on #3. "I found enough f#%@ing balls to start a driving range!!!!!!" yelps the Master of the Understatement. "Give me a par!" as he takes a power gimme from 150 yards. "Shut the f#%@ up! I'd have knocked it in and you all know it!!!"

This hole is an easy par if you play for one. However, no Cahoona has ever played for a par and thus you have bogies, double bogies and other various scores.

Cub-Boose Remote

From USA Today:

For sleepless car owners who decide they need to check their tire pressure in the middle of the night, General Motors has a solution.

GM (GM) plans to introduce a remote-control key fob next April that will allow drivers to not only determine the pressure in each tire, but also check the odometer reading, see if there's enough fuel in the tank to make it to work in the morning, change the radio station settings and see if they remembered to lock the car doors, to name a few.

The device will be a $150 option on Cadillac Escalade luxury SUVs and other full-size GM SUVs, pickups and crossover-utility vehicles.

"One of the overarching themes people told us they wanted was security and safety," GM spokesman Tom Henderson says. Being able to reassure themselves about their vehicles without leaving the house is one way to satisfy that.

The feature builds on GM's expertise as the first automaker to introduce remote start, which made its debut in the 2004 Chevrolet Malibu and now is available from other automakers and as an add-on accessory.

GM says it will be first to offer remote two-way communication with the vehicle using a liquid-crystal display on the fob. The fob will operate at four to six times the range of competitors' keyless entry systems, GM says.

Automakers have been giving the remote-control key fob more and more tasks beyond the ability to lock or unlock the doors from a distance. Some will operate the power windows. Others are keyed to a car's memory settings and reset seats, mirrors, stereo and other functions to the driver's preference after a different driver has been using the vehicle.

BMW and Mercedes-Benz offer systems that adjust a vehicle's seats and mirrors to a drivers' personal preferences not from the fob, but as soon as the driver touches the outside door handle.

Volvo is planning a keyless entry system that can detect a heartbeat and alert the driver if someone is lurking inside the car. That'll be introduced on a new version of the S80 sedan in the USA in February. The same technology, with some changes, should eventually be able to remind drivers if they forget and leave children in the car.

GM says its two-way fob will cost less than $100 to replace if it's lost or broken. And it should be hard to break, Henderson says. For testing, it's been dropped, dunked underwater and sprayed with saltwater.

GM says the feature probably will be considered a bargain. Consumer test panels showed that interest in the feature rose, rather than fell, when panel members were told what GM planned to charge.

But in the Cub-Boose, it will also indicate the temperature of the Bud Lights in the cooler, the humidity in the humidor and the distance to the next roadside restroom!

Sox pay $51 mil for . . . WHAT?

NAPLES, Fla. - The market price for pitching talent is soaring so high that it's come to this: The Boston Red Sox are ready to pay more than $50 million just for the right to negotiate with Daisuke Matsuzaka, who's never thrown his "gyroball" — or any pitch, for that matter — in the major leagues.

This'll be fun August topic, when the Sox are, once again, four games behind and fading fast . . .

What About the Beer Vendor?

Sounds like the Oakland A's potential new ballpark could be a study in technology in a stadium:

New A's Ballpark to Be High Tech

SAN FRANCISCO - If Cisco Systems Inc. has its way, the Oakland Athletics' new ballpark in Fremont will be the stadium of the future.

Fans will swipe electronic tickets stored on cell phones. Bleacher bums will view instant replays at their seats with laptop computers. And digital advertising displays will be able to switch images based on the buying habits of the people walking by through data embedded in their cell phones.

That was the vision that A's owner Lew Wolff laid out to Fremont City Council members this week in a pitch for Cisco Field, a planned ballpark featuring the company's technology, Fremont Mayor Bob Wasserman said Thursday.

"It's fabulous - the technology is something else," Wasserman said. "It went over my head. It only takes about 10 seconds to go beyond me when you're talking about technology. I can't say I understand it all, but it's going to be quite a ballpark."

Wolff's pitch came just weeks after Cisco CEO John Chambers delivered a less-than-subtle presentation at Oracle OpenWorld about the advances that could be possible at a new ballpark in the San Francisco Bay area.

Chambers led a lively presentation last month demonstrating how Cisco technology and intelligent networks would enable fans at the hypothetical stadium to buy and upgrade tickets through smart cell phones, access real-time scorecards at their seats and buy pictures of themselves from crowd cameras and pay to show them on the Jumbotron.

The A's were the hypothetical team featured in all of the video and images in the demonstration.

Cisco and the A's both have declined to comment about the reported agreement, which would create a 32,000- to 35,000-seat ballpark surrounded by homes and shops on a 143-acre parcel currently held by Cisco.

Wasserman said a news conference is scheduled for Tuesday at the San Jose headquarters of Cisco, the world's largest networking equipment maker, to announce the partnership.

Wireless access is becoming an increasingly common feature at ballparks, but analysts said a park built with the reported features would be a big step forward.

However, while the ballpark could be the ultimate consumer showcase for a company that derives most of its sales from corporate customers, the strategy also could backfire if the entire system doesn't work properly or fans don't warm to the idea, said Sam Wilson, a communications equipment analyst with JMP Securities.

"These things work both ways," he said. "If everything works flawlessly, it's a great showcase. But if everything doesn't work flawlessly, it's the exact opposite. It's a laughingstock."

Cisco, which makes the routers, switches and other devices used to link networks and direct traffic on the Internet, is trying to shed its image as solely a maker of networking infrastructure gear.

The company also hopes to capitalize on products and services that utilize the network. One example is TelePresence, a technology similar to video conferencing that Cisco introduced last month that aims to deliver a three-dimensional feeling that the participants are all in the same room.

Earlier this year, Wolff confirmed that the A's, who share the Oakland Coliseum with the NFL's Oakland Raiders, were exploring a move to Fremont, about 25 miles south of Oakland on the east side of San Francisco Bay.

Wasserman said talks between the city and the A's are still at an early stage, and that the earliest the A's could begin playing there is 2011.

But will the beer vendor take a credit card for the $15 beers?

Hole of the Week #12 - The Preserve #3

There aren't near as many Cahoona birdies on this hole as there should be. My theory is that the elevated tee tempts the Cahoonas to swing from their heels and they end up in the trees (imagine that!). I've seen plenty of pars made from the fairway on the right with an approach over the trees.

You don't have to be in the fairway to score well. As Turg and Heis can attest; their partner hit an 80-yard chip out of the trees for an eagle in August. They did not seem quite so happy to be chugging two beers on the next teebox as I was. Kiiiii-yoooooo-naaaaaaah!!!!!!!

Hole of the Week #11 - The Pines Marsh #1

This is a pretty cool hole. A pair of good shots will present you with a wonderfully scenic shot at the pine trees by the green.

I notice that the player's guide says to stay left of the "twin Norway Pines" by the green. In 15 years, however, I don't think I've ever played it that way. Maybe next year.

With a turkey sandwich in my belly and a full margarita (with filbert nuts), I set off on a new nine at the Pines hoping to erase the memories of the Lakes and the Woods. The Marsh seems to start about as the Woods for me every time. My performance on the tight tee box only proves I need a couple more minutes in the bar at the turn. Maybe a double shot of tequila in that margarita!

Democratic Cheap Shot

Sorry, Goat, too funny not to post.