FEMA Declares Restoration of Pre-Katrina Squalor Complete

NEW ORLEANS—After an unprecedented 18-month cleanup and repair effort supervised by the Federal Emergency Management Agency, the city of New Orleans has been successfully returned to its pre–Hurricane Katrina state of decay and deterioration.

"Our job here is done," said Paulison, who was joined by Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Blanco in a ceremony along the banks of the Industrial Canal. "Our beloved Big Easy has its soul back. The downtown shops are open and in full violation of code, the nightlife is alive with the sound of violence, and the streets are once again safe for poverty and vice."

The $41 billion restoration of the city's hallmark abandoned buildings, shacks, vacant lots, and standing trash piles was among the most complex and painstaking ever undertaken. The work, however, did not proceed without controversy, often grinding to a halt as reservationists quarreled in court over which sections of rot, toxic chemical compounds, PCBs, bacteria, and pathogens predated Katrina.

"We've done our best to ensure the city is as well off as it was before Katrina hit," Blanco said. "It's all back—the same abandoned cars, the broken bottles, the spent shotgun shells, the rat colonies, even the used diapers on the front lawns. People of New Orleans, welcome home."

The most impressive progress was made in the Ninth Ward, the lowest-lying and most devastated section of New Orleans. Due to severe water and mold damage, the difficult decision was made to gut or tear down a majority of the neighborhood's houses, then laboriously reconstruct them to their previous dilapidated condition seven feet below sea level. In addition, medical facilities that flooded during Katrina, were drained, repaired, and meticulously under-funded so they could be ill-prepared for overcrowding by uninsured and indigent patients as early as next week.

Even New Orleans' world-famous French Quarter was given a much-needed boost, with the flood-related detritus covering Bourbon Street cleared and replaced with discarded plastic beads, vomit, used condoms and pools of donated urine.

Despite FEMA's official declaration of completion, not all facets of New Orleans squalor have been restored. City officials say the return of New Orleans citizens is essential to the survival of the city's crumbling economy and renowned 25 percent poverty rate. And in a sharp and historically inaccurate contrast, federal aid continues to flow into the city, preservationists say.

Hole of the Week #23 - The Pines Marsh #7

Church pews! The green is a mile and a half deep. If you don't hit the correct third of the green - you will four putt. Ask me - I know. I've done it more times than I care to remember.

I remember the pin being on the back one time and Emo hit the first trap. He hit the third trap. He didn't get out of the first shot but then hit the sixth trap. Then he slammed it out the the sixth trap, overshot the green and ended up in the horseshoe trap. I'm not sure what happened after that - I fell asleep in the cart!

Hole of the Week #22 - Deacon's Lodge #15

Another great Deacon's Lodge hole - I see this one at twilight with a scramble that is getting pretty drunk by this point. Tell FNG to hold on, the next couple of holes are treacherous!

Financial Lingo Defined

As Kirbo occasionally casts dispersions upon Casey and my choosen profession, the following primer may be helpful to those unfamiliar with the lingo in the markets

Profit Taking: All purpose explanation for why the market went down.

Technical Factors: Alternate all purpose explanation for why the market went down.

Resistance level: Under no circumstances should stocks rise above this level, unless, of course, they do.

Support level: Under no circumstances should stocks fall below this level, unless, of course, they do.

Correction: What brokers call a major market crash before they've had a chance to sell off their personal positions.

Momentum investor: buyer of stuff that has already gone up.

Value investor: buyer of stuff that will never go up.

Broker: What you'll be if you follow their advice.

Financial Consultant: Broker trying to sound respectable.

Financial journalists: Wanted to be sportswriters, but didn't make the cut.

Collectibles: Justification for buying worthless stuff you really, really want.

Hedge funds: Like mutual funds, but, much higher fees and bragging rights.

Variable annuities: Chance for ordinary investors to pay hedge-fund like fees.

Commodities: Pigs with lipstick.

Car lease: Chance to act rich while you're getting poorer every month.

Credit cards: Another chance.

It just got tougher to keep the FNG in line

Calif. Lawmaker Seeks Ban on Spanking

SACRAMENTO, Calif. - California parents could face jail and a fine for spanking their young children under legislation a state lawmaker has promised to introduce next week.

Assembly woman Sally Lieber, D-Mountain View, has announced she will introduce, next week, a measure to ban parents from spanking their children in Califonia saying a law is needed because spanking victimizes helpless children and breeds violence in society.

"I think it's pretty hard to argue you need to beat a child," Lieber said. "Is it OK to whip a 1-year-old or a 6-month-old or a newborn?"

Lieber said her proposal would make spanking, hitting and slapping a child under 4 years old a misdemeanor. Adults could face up to a year in jail and a $1,000 fine.

Aides to the assemblywoman said they are still working on a definition for spanking.

So That's Why They Call it Intelligence

From the Washington Times:

On Dec. 5, Newsweek magazine touted an interview with then-incoming House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence Chairman Rep. Silvestre Reyes as an "exclusive." And for good reason.
"In a surprise twist in the debate over Iraq," the story began, Mr. Reyes "said he wants to see an increase of 20,000 to 30,000 U.S. troops as part of a 'stepped up effort to dismantle the militias.' "
"We have to consider the need for additional troops to be in Iraq, to take out the militias and stabilize Iraq," the Texas Democrat said to the surprise of many, "I would say 20,000 to 30,000."
Then came President Bush's expected announcement last week, virtually matching Mr. Reyes' recommendation and argument word-for-word -- albeit the president proposed only 21,500 troops.
Wouldn't you know, hours after Mr. Bush announced his proposal, Mr. Reyes told the El Paso Times that such a troop buildup was unthinkable.
"We don't have the capability to escalate even to this minimum level," he said.
The chairman's "double-talk" did not go unnoticed. Among others, Rep. Joe Wilson, South Carolina Republican and a member of the House Armed Services Committee, says such blatant "hypocrisy" undermines both national security and the war on terrorism.
Unfortunately for the new House intelligence chief, this is his second (some would argue his third) major blunder in the space of one month. When asked by Congressional Quarterly reporter Jeff Stein whether al Qaeda was a Sunni or Shi'ite organization, he answered: "Predominantly, probably Shi'ite."
As Mr. Stein wrote later: "He couldn't have been more wrong. Al Qaeda is profoundly Sunni. If a Shi'ite showed up at an al Qaeda clubhouse, they'd slice his head off and use it for a soccer ball."
The reporter added: "To me, it's like asking about Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland: Who's on what side?"
In the same interview, Mr. Stein had asked Mr. Reyes about the Lebanese militant group Hezbollah.
His now-infamous reply: "Hezbollah. Uh, Hezbollah? ... Why do you ask me these questions at 5 o'clock? Can I answer in Spanish? Do you speak Spanish?"

Hole of the Week #21 - The Preserve #18

This is a great finishing hole. The elevated tee screams "Grip it and Rip it!!". It is a birdiable (I think I just made up a word) hole if you get off the teebox and keep the ball in play. The green is challenging yet fair.

My favorite memory of this hole is standing on the box and hearing the Cahoonas whoop it up as "Kitty" jars one. Those of us on the teebox figured another "greenie" for a drunken Cahoona. We later find out that it was the ace that started a rather memorable evening!

Victim spots stolen GPS on eBay

Check out this story about a guy who had his GPS unit stolen right out of his car, a perfectly natural place to store such things. When confronted with his loss he was propelled into the comforting embrace of eBay, eager to renew his GPS relationship, going so far as to replace his lost unit with the very same model. Imagine his surprise when he found his exact unit, easily identified by its "special power cord" and verified by serial number. After the eBay seller -- one Mr. Danial Rangkar -- was arrested, police discovered dozens of similarly stolen gadgets that would have ultimately made their way to his eBay account.

Crazy story yes, but if you want a wild one about stolen items, check out this story about a stolen Sidekick II from earlier this summer. (Wait until you have a few minutes though.)

Championship Game?

I've been waiting to respond to Ksox's BCS rant until after the so-called BCS championship game. It was an event only rivaled by the Super Bowl for sheer, over-hyped, made for television blech. My response to the BCS question is simple: bag it and go back to the no-real-champion glory days of yesterday.

College football was once the second most followed event in America, only baseball in its heyday had greater popularity. From before the roaring 20's until the mid-60's, it was college football, not the NFL, that defined fall sport in America. The Army / Navy game was, for almost 40 years, the most anticipated sporting event in the country. School kids could name the Fighting Irish's third-string punter, let alone the four horsemen.

What made College football unique was the experience, not the games themselves. Who didn't want to wear a raccoon coat and take the train up to New Haven for Harvard / Yale? Minnesota winning conference championships? Wow!

College footballs shining moment was always New Year's day. National bragging rights were up for grabs, as any combination of wins and loses may knock the front-runner off their post and allow a dark horse to emerge. It was the drama and "who knows?" quality of the bowl games that gave them their mystique, something the NCAA longed to reproduce in basketball through years of "what, UCLA again?" and finally found with the expanded March Madness of the last 20 years.

The BCS, coupled with the emergence of conference championship games, are leading the NCAA down the same path traveled in the television era by Major League Baseball, the NFL, NBA, NHL, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum. By all means let's make the college season even longer, since playoffs in June have worked so well for the NBA and NHL. Baseball has less than half the followers today as it did when MLB played 140 or so games with 16 teams. Don't agree? Quick, who won the series this year?

This "saturation factor" threatens both NCAA basketball and football, but will cause the most harm in football, turning it into just another cable T.V. sport. My dad saw his only Rose Bowl in 1935 and remembers minute details of the event like it was yesterday, even though he has no idea anymore which teams even played. It was being there that mattered, it was an event national in scope and nearly unrivaled in its glory. Television brought the excitement of being there into our homes, high-def and all. We can't allow t.v's lure of riches to turn this national day of sport into yet another American homogeneous, back-after-these-messages, ad-fest. Despite all the problems of big-money college football, it's still our American sport, mostly played by kids enjoying their only moment of fame.

It is this every-man quality of New Year's day bowl games that makes college football unique, not a playoff trophy to be handed out some time near the end of January, right before the six-day Super Bowl pre-game show begins on ESPN . .

Dog Years

Since most of the Cahoonas are dog owners, I thought you guys would enjoy this!

Hole of the Week #20 - The Pines Lakes #3

Another Pines hole - I tend to agree with Kirby's comments a couple weeks ago - they all kinda run together in my mind. I remember the Lakes holes the best because there are some very distinctive holes later in the round.This hole isn't one of the distinctive ones on the Lakes, however.

I think it is the isolation that each of these Pines holes offers that make them attractive. I feel like we are the only group on the course most of the time.

I recall this hole being a bitch to putt if you're not in the right place - but aren't they all? Though it may be less than memorable, I am looking forward to this hole in August!!

Winter Golf Getaways

Boys, time to mess with your heads. My January "business" trip. Post your planned winter golf getaways for fun and prizes!

#10, Resort Course, The Westin, San Antonio

This Year's Cahoona Shirts

More of the Same B(C)S!

It doesn't appear that the college football championship will be decided on the field anytime soon. Instead, we'll allow computers and sportswriters to determine who wins the "beauty contest" and gets to play for the title.

This article from CBS Sportsline is interesting and enlightening. While more and more coaches are coming around on a playoff, the college presidents are very protective of their annual "vacation" to a football bowl game. For once, this may not be about money. Instead, it is about that other factor that absolutely corrupts - power.

Both Pac-10 commissioner Tom Hansen and Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany said the schools they represent have no interest in further tampering with the relationship between the two conferences and the Rose Bowl, their longtime and lucrative partner.

"The Rose Bowl is the most important external relationship we have," Delany said. "It's more important than the BCS. We're going to honor it. We're going to salute it."

Tell me this isn't laughable:

Getting past the Big Ten and Pac-10's allegiance to the Rose Bowl is by no means the only thing standing in the way of a plus-one.

Hansen said there are concerns among the university presidents he represents about further extending the season, especially after Division I-A just made permanent the 12-game regular season, and the toll it could take on academics.

The Orange, Fiesta and Sugar bowls share the Rose Bowl's worries about the desire of fans to travel to two postseason games. Also, opponents of a full-fledged playoff -- and there are many in the ranks of college presidents, even outside the Big Ten and Pac-10 -- view the plus-one as the first step down a slippery slope.

(My emphasis). Just consider for a moment how the football playoff would be different from March Madness. That tournament lasts three weeks - in the middle of the semester. Fans seem to be able to find it in the budget to travel to three different venues in three weeks.

I believe the reason that everyone is talking about this week's Fiesta Bowl is that it was the closest thing to Villanova's "perfect game" or North Carolina State's "miracle shot" or any other "buzzer-beater" that you have seen in a championship football game. And people loved it. They want more of it.

The college presidents seem to be doing a nice job of having conference commissioners throw a bunch of excuses at the wall to see what will stick. The problem is, Boise State sprayed a nice thick coat of teflon on the wall and the commissioner's shit is in a pile at the base of the wall.

Give us a playoff!!!

$500/hour Minimum Wage

Now that the Democrats are controlling the agenda in Washington, the federal minimum wage issue is going to come up again. No fiscal conservative himself, President Bush supports a raise of the minimum wage to $7.25 in steps.

In this article, George Will does an excellent job of highlighting this issue and explaining why an increase in the federal minimum wage does not make sense. I encourage you all to read it.

The federal minimum wage has not been raised since 1997, so 29 states with 70 percent of the nation's work force have set minimum wages of between $6.15 and $7.93 an hour. Because aging liberals, clinging to the moral clarities of their youth, also have Sixties Nostalgia, they are suspicious of states' rights. But regarding minimum wages, many have become Brandeisians, invoking Justice Louis Brandeis' thought about states being laboratories of democracy.

But wait. Ronald Blackwell, the AFL-CIO's chief economist, tells The New York Times that state minimum wage differences entice companies to shift jobs to lower-wage states. So: states' rights are bad, after all, at least concerning — let's use liberalism's highest encomium — diversity of economic policies.

The problem is that demand for almost everything is elastic: When the price of something goes up, demand for it goes down. Obviously were the minimum wage to jump to, say, $15 an hour, that would cause significant unemployment among persons just reaching for the bottom rung of the ladder of upward mobility. But suppose those scholars are correct who say that when the minimum wage is low and is increased slowly — proposed legislation would take it to $7.25 in three steps — the negative impact on employment is negligible. Still, because there are large differences among states' costs of living, and the nature of their economies, Sen. Jim DeMint, R-S.C., sensibly suggests that each state should be allowed to set a lower minimum.

But the minimum wage should be the same everywhere: $0. Labor is a commodity; governments make messes when they decree commodities' prices.

Read the entire article.

I do not have a single person in my employ working for minimum wage, but I can tell you that it will cost me money. Though my lower paid employees are happy with their current wage, they won't be any longer when others are now making as much as them.

But really, why stop at $7.25. Let's let everyone be as rich as the trial attorneys and let them drive Escalades. Let's pay everyone $500/hour!

Top Ten 19th Holes

Casey made a good point in a post yesterday saying something to the effect of "why do we post golf holes, Cahoonas are much more interested in 19th holes" Good point. Where have I left the most brain cells over the years? Here's my list of great finishing watering holes, I'm certain you'll all have a few as well:

10. Giant's Ridge, Biwabek,MN. Great oak bar with a view of #1, almost as great a first hole as Deacon's #1.
9. Elks, Pierre SD. The course I grew up on, now closed. We'd steal beer out of the coolers and pee off the balcony. At the tender age of 15.
8. Chamberlain National. Ditto the above, except we were 22, then 34, then 40-something, etc. etc.
7. Hazeltine National. Lousy bar but the original Nicklaus oil painting in the john can't be beat.
6. #18 cabin block, Madden's East. Not a bar, but a true 19th hole for the Cahoonas. Lindy's beaver photo will live forever. The cabin block at West is the sentimental favorite, but, the damn stairs keep it out of my top 10.
5. My deck, Prairie Green, Sioux Falls. Don't believe me? Ask Casey. Next summer you all come a day early, we'll get plastered and hit 5 woods off the #7 tee at Turg's living room windows.
4. Ventana Canyon Resort, Tucson. Great desert course in the foothills with a view of the whole valley.
3. Ceasar's Palace, Lake Tahoe. Bar looks down on the course (Northstar) and the lake on one side, up at Heavenly Valley Ski Resort on the other. Heavenly is an understatement.
2. Cragun's Pub: Shoot the Drummer!
1. The Preserve. Best view and Manhattans anywhere.

Honorable mention:
The Inferno, Steamboat Springs. Gone forever, but, the best apre' ski bar I ever saw.
The crappy house at Breezy. Killer Tequilla night!!!
The Long Bar, Hyatt Hill Country Resort, San Antonio. 100 foot long bar, need I say more?

One for the Ages...

A football movie script played out on the real gridiron in the Fiesta Bowl on Monday night. If it was an actual movie, the ending may not have been considered very believable.

I am sure that ten years from now, over a half million people will have attended the game played in Glendale, AZ last night. It was one of those rare times when one is rewarded for staying up late. I had intended to go to bed early to get "back in the swing of things". But I went to the basement to get something and was drawn in by the HD telecast of the Fiesta Bowl. I sat down to start watching when the score was 28-10, Boise State.

Boise State perfectly executed a few trick plays late in the fourth quarter and in overtime to defeat Oklahoma, 43-42, in one of the best finishes in recent memory.

The way it happened, which was incredible, is documented quite nicely here.

The method was true madness. And true genius. No coaching staff has ever ended a game with so much daring.

Out of conventional offensive options, first-year head coach Chris Petersen and first-year offensive coordinator Bryan Harsin went straight sandlot. They showed a career's worth of guts in calling one gadget play after another, rescuing Boise in a game it first had seemingly locked up, then had seemingly lost.

Asked if there could possibly be anything left in the playbook after this, the 30-year-old Harsin shook his head and smiled.

"No, no," he said. "We threw it all out right there."

But I will tell you that it included the best football game I have watched in many years. It also included the three best executed, most game-changing and courageous calls and plays I have EVER seen.

Just when you thought you had seen everything a college football game had to offer, the post-game interviews included the star running back proposing to his cheerleader girlfriend.

No money could ever buy the publicity that Boise State got last night.

If you didn't see the game and own a TIVO, check your listings for ESPN Classic as it will certainly appear as an "Instant Classic". If you did see it, watch it again and tell me Boise State shouldn't get a shot at Ohio Stae for the title.

Hole of the Week #19 - Deacon's Lodge #1

As we tear off the final page of the 2006 calendar and begin our assault on 2007, I thought it appropriate to start the new year the same way we have begun the last several Cahoona weeks - looking down hole #1 at Deacon's Lodge. The image of that fairway in my mind makes me want to dig out the weapons and hit a few shots out in the backyard.

First comes the lecture about golfing in a fivesome. Then we either assure the starter that we've been doing it for some time and will play fast or Casey lets him know that we have permission from Madden's to play as a five! I'm certain any of us could recite the local rules and regs.

Next we have the debate about which tees we're playing (with Kirby arguing for the tips) before settling on the white tees - like every other year. Then we each step up and hit two drives apiece with at least one duck hooking into the trees on the left or banana slicing into the trees/swamp on the right.

"Hey, where's Emo? Is he coming this year?"

Happy New Year guys. Here's wishing you straight drives and many birdie putts in 2007!!!